When we are angry we tend to want to control the other person and his or her reactions. Then, we become angry when the reactions are not want we want. When we try to control or change another person when we are angry the outcome is that nothing changes, it is more of the same. The dance of anger continues and it is probably a dance you get tired of dancing. So, what needs to change to stop this dance? This is where a little work comes in…
when you find yourself being angry at not feeling heard and angry at how one is reacting to you, consider his or her point of view first versus your own.
This is a challenging shift to make especially once you have gotten comfortable with your own anger dance moves. Pausing first, in an angry moment, and considering if you have considered the other’s point of view is the first step of changing the often exhausting anger dance.
Pausing to consider the other person’s point of view slows down the anger dance and slows down angry emotions for your own clearer point of view. You can only change how you respond in conflict, but you cannot change how the other person responds. All you can do is consider his or her point of view just as you want him or her to do for you.
Contact me today. Mandi Roarke